Self-Development

Rough Day?

My story plus 10 steps to help you blossom

So today was eventful. I use the word eventful because many events occurred today that almost made me want to snap. No wait I did snap, at least a few times. Have you ever had one of those days? Those days when so many things happen that are out of your control. The type of day that when it started raining, it started pouring and then lightning. Those days when so many things happen that you want to throw your hands up in there air and shout at the top of your lungs IM DONE! The day where it’s almost 1 pm and you’re looking forward to the point when you can have a glass a wine. This was my day today.

  On days like today where I start the day putting my best foot forward and at the end of the day feel like I fell short, it hits hard. So hard that I over-analyze and run the entire day through my head wondering what I could have done differently. What could have made today go better? I do this a lot. It is my least favorite at times and yet one of my best qualities wrapped into one. Did I mention my zodiac sign is a Virgo. I long for perfection. Always! Am I always perfection? Ha! My friend I’m so sorry to disappoint you if that is what you were expecting from me. I am here to tell you that I am the upmost farthest thing from perfection. Even though that is what I try daily to be. Isn’t that at the end of the day what we all crave? To be our best selves. To do our best and give 100% with everything we do. To not be crappy at something we try to do even though everything we try isn’t always going to be our niche. Don’t we all crave some sort of status whether it be as popular as the Kardashians or the top salesperson at the job where you work? 

  Do you want to know what category I strive for in being perfect the most. Being a mother, and you know what guys I fall short of that all of the time. I feel like I fall short when I’m late or make a mistake at work. I feel this way because my wiring upstairs tells me that good mothers are on time. Perfect mothers can’t be late or make mistakes at work. My thinking is if you make enough mistakes, you can risk your job. And how dare you risk your job trying to be perfect. Then the process of beating myself up begins, mentally. I feel like I fall short when I’m just too tired or too frustrated or too busy at the moment and my daughter wants to play and I’m just not in the mood. I fall short when I have cleaned up jumbo lego pieces for the sixth time today and stacked them in their proper place, so when I see them on the floor for the seventh time I just step over them. You guys this is terrible but I feel like I fall short when I don’t make dinner. There are plenty of days where I just don’t feel like cooking after a long day of work and drop-offs and pick-ups but then the guilt that comes with that. Ugh! 

I do enjoy cooking and love to provide a home-cooked meal for my family. Like really love it. I love when my daughter does a silly dance when her pallet is happy and she rubs her belly and says yummy. It’s just well I’m human. There are days where I am so exhausted and binge-watching Queen of the south on Netflix seems way more appealing than cooking so. Let’s just do that. Even though I took the meat out of the freezer this morning and let it defrost because I planned on cooking it but brought home a large supreme pizza instead. Do you have days like this? Am I the only one who then feels guilty because I now feel like a couch potato after binge-watching Netflix because there are a million other things that I could be doing. Like folding the pile of clean clothes on the couch that has been there for two days. Or working on my blog. Oh and I really should be making healthier meals instead of eating pizza and spending money on takeout. The torturing of myself in my mind continues. 

I fall short in a million different categories in a million different ways all of the time. The diet I started and never finished because I was always too busy making excuses for cheat meals. The associate’s degree I started and never went back to finish since having my daughter in 2016. I could go on all day and I most likely will with future posts of how perfectly imperfect my life is. We all have to come to a point where the torturing of ourselves needs to be replaced with love and grace for our selves. 

Perfection is awesome if that is what you strive to be like myself, but I had to learn to not beat myself in the process when I fell short. I shoot for the moon all of the time and somehow land somewhere amongst the stars and that isn’t that real treasure. Not to be perfect but to do our best because that is all we can do. To be kind to others like you would want people to be kind to you or your children. I assure you no one is perfect even though pictures on Instagram portray that people’s lives are just that. Most of my telling you this about my insecurities regarding my imperfections make me uncomfortable. But I am doing it anyway because I am trying something different. I long for change and I am pushing past the fear and lies of negativity that I have built up in my brain over the past twenty-nine years. Things I thought helped me in the past to help me cope with overwhelming moments weren’t the healthiest. I’ll admit. So I had to switch a few things up and you guys it is actually working. First thing was

  1. Affirmations and words of positivity. I would wake up every morning around 5:30 am and have a cup of coffee and read as many affirmations as I could before I would start my day. So that I could start the day with positivity knowing that I could handle whatever the day threw at me. I would be able to conquer it with grace.

These are some of the things I would read in the morning to start my day. 

 As long as you continue to grow, there will be growing pains. Relax everything is running right on schedule. Sis, the real glow up is internal. You are about to go from just functioning in life to flourishing. You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret is found in your daily routine. Positive people can also have negative thoughts, they just don’t let those thoughts grow and destroy them. They learn to overcome them. When someone says you can’t do it. Do it twice, and take pictures. You will win. Not immediately, but definitely. 

 2. Understanding, Knowing and Believing that I only have control over myself and my actions. Most things are not in my control, therefore, don’t waste time and energy getting upset. 

 3. Prayer! Prayer absolutely positively works. Why wish upon a star when you can pray to the one who created it. 

 4. Reading self-development books like How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnage, Girl wash your Face by Rachel Hollis, and You are a badass by Jen Sincero. Some of my absolute favorites.

 5. Making self-development, self-care and self love a daily priority

 6. Making time for myself daily to reset and refocus even if it is just for ten minutes

 7. Doing my best always so that even on the days where I fell short I feel good knowing I did what I could. 

 8. Quit self-medicating like if it is going to fix all of your problems whether it be wine, beer, hard liquor, some sort of plant or drug.

 9. Think before reacting. How does overreacting serve me?

 10. Have a new perspective on life. For example, has a bee ever landed on you, and instead of getting scared, you appreciate the possibility that you got confused for a flower. 

Even still do I still fudge up sometimes. Heck yeah! The point is to do better than you did yesterday. 

IvannaMcBride

I am a real mom to a toddler most times just trying to make it through the day. Let’s be honest moms, most of the times we are just winging it.

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